Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton finally met this week in the fitting town of Unity, New Hampshire. Later, the duo will meet in the town of Please Forget All Those Terrible Things I Said, Maryland.

The Supreme Court overturned a ban on handguns in Washington DC this week by a 5-4 vote. Justice Kennedy explained his vote by citing the intentions of the constitutional framers and the fact that Justice Scalia had a gun to his head.

It was announced this week that the average age of television watchers is now 50 years old. In response, HBO will be airing “God I really don’t feel like having Sex and that City.”

Citing major terrorist attacks during the first year of both Clinton’s and Bush’s presidencies, Joe Lieberman predicted there will be another terrorist attack in 2009. Yeah, cuz that’s the old stereotype about terrorists: reliable and predictable.

This week marks the hundredth anniversary of the invention of the SOS signal. To celebrate, Ham Radio Operators everywhere will be - . .-.. .-.. .. -. –. / — ..-. ..-. / -.-. — .-.. — .-. / .-. .- -.. .. — / .— — -.- . … (HR operators everyone laugh knowingly.)